How I almost accepted the doctrine of original sin.

The story of a short, but significant point in my life: How I almost accepted the doctrine of original sin. Now, original sin, in summary, is a [false] doctrine which basically defines the fallen nature that one is born with as being sin. The teaching insists that by virtue of humanity’s fallen condition, we are “born sinners”, and that what makes us such is our very natures, inherited from Adam after his fall.

This understanding of what sin is has various implications, among a few:

•  “This doctrine simply means that we stand condemned because of our birth-state, either because we have a fallen nature or because we are born into the family of fallen Adam." [i]
• Because of the idea that the condition of our nature is sin, we can never be brought to an experience of being without sin until translated at the coming of Jesus, when our natures will be changed. This means that we can never hope for victory over sin in this life.
• This also affects the understanding of what Christ came to save us from. In a very condensed form*, salvation is a change of the sinner’s external status, not of the sinner’s inward condition.

While many more points can be considered*, for the sake of brevity, we’ll only note these. Now, why would I believe such a [not so Biblical][ii] theory you may ask?

I start by sharing a small part of my daily-developing testimony:

The year of my baptism, my (then) elder handed me a copy of the book Steps to Christ for a Sanctified Life. One of the best gifts I’ve ever received. I learnt the practicalities of Christianity and the plan of salvation and believe that through the lessons learnt I was thoroughly converted.  From a secular lifestyle, very literally, my life changed.

Fast forward to after a few short years of growth: With an indomitable zeal for service, I grew very actively involved in evangelism and ministry. Having ascended a number of pulpits, numerous studies conducted, sold and given out tracts and books, I bore many of the identifying marks of a “conservative, present-truth brother.” One major part of this experience included a firmly held belief in the idea that Jesus can give us victory over all sin in this lifetime. This becomes very important as the story continues, (by this time I had well learnt, and could out argue, the theory of original sin.)

I do not, in any wise, doubt the genuineness of my experience; but alas, there creeps a wily adversary. Notice a trick of the devil:

“When I ([the Lord]) say to the righteous that he shall surely live, but he trusts in his own righteousness and commits iniquity, none of his righteous works shall be remembered; but because of the iniquity that he has committed, he shall die.” Ezekiel 33:13 NKJV

Failing to get a person to believe in Jesus, one of satan’s tricks is to make the believer trust that the righteousness he has been experiencing, is somehow of his own making. After a while, this became the experience with me. One of satan’s fiery darts, especially to very well meaning individuals, is to shift one’s attention to the faults of others and think thoughts along the lines of: “they don’t study their Bibles… they still eat and drink such & such… they are not serious about evangelism… they don’t preach present truth… they don’t dress modestly… (in other words) they are not like me…”

The essence of this trick is to lead the believer’s attention off of Christ, the only One who can really keep the believer upright, in heart.

“When the mind dwells upon self, it is turned away from Christ, the source of strength and life. Hence it is Satan's constant effort to keep the attention diverted from the Saviour and thus prevent the union and communion of the soul with Christ. The pleasures of the world, life's cares and perplexities and sorrows, the faults of others, or your own faults and imperfections--to any or all of these he will seek to divert the mind. Do not be misled by his devices.” Steps to Christ, p. 71.2

The reason this is an effective trick is because the one caught in it doesn’t realize it. “The way of the wicked is as darkness: they know not at what they stumble.” (Proverbs 4:19).

I remember being frustrated with fellow believers who were “backslidden, liberal and lukewarm Laodiceans” (at least to my self-righteous estimation). This was mainly because they weren’t trying as hard as I was, or because they hadn’t come up to the standard that we were called to reach.

Jesus illustrates something very similar in the parable of the Pharisee and the publican in the temple. Long story short, the Pharisee compared himself with others and as a result, saw himself as more acceptable to God. It’s very interesting how Luke actually introduces that parable:

“[Jesus] spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others.” Luke 18:9

In this scenario, the reason why he who was seemingly righteous hated others is because he was trusting in himself for his righteousness. Like me, His focus was off of Christ. In that state, while I could readily point out the “sleeping Laodiceans” for their condition, to some extent (at least as it related to heart religion) I was in the same place.  I was just yet to realize it.

This leads me to the next point in the development of this trick of the devil. When one is, like the Pharisee in the parable, not having a heart experience, it leads to putting up human laws as a standard for self (and others) to obey. This is to compensate for the (internal) lack and console the restless conscience. Notice how Jesus puts it, quoting Isaiah:

“These people draw near to Me with their mouth, and honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.” Matthew 15:9

When the heart was far from Christ (even though sincerely honoring Him with the lips), I too piled up my own rules, especially for myself.  This is the gradual progress of satan’s trick, when the focus is turned off of Christ, as the source of righteousness, to self. Notice a few of the other results:  

“The effort to earn salvation by one's own works inevitably leads men to pile up human exactions as a barrier against sin. For, seeing that they fail to keep the law, they will devise rules and regulations of their own to force themselves to obey. All this turns the mind away from God to self. His love dies out of the heart, and with it perishes love for his fellow men. A system of human invention, with its multitudinous exactions, will lead its advocates to judge all who come short of the prescribed human standard. The atmosphere of selfish and narrow criticism stifles the noble and generous emotions, and causes men to become self-centered judges and petty spies.” Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing p.123.1

Hmm... Imagine…

Back to the story at hand though, note: A heart that is far from Jesus cannot successfully obey Him. In this case, even the man-made laws become unreachable. I can’t recall what it was, but there was something (seemingly small) in my experience that I found myself being overcome by. It even got to a point of repeatedly confessing the same thing after repeatedly stumbling on that point (imagine the discouragement.)

So, there I was: a firm believer in victory over sin, but being defeated as it came to obeying. The experience is similar to something, in Psychology, called “Cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance, simply put, is when what you believe is at variance with what you are experiencing. It is the mental tension that comes from having contradictory internal beliefs.

When I read inspiration, I couldn’t deny God’s call to total obedience, to victory over every sin. On the other hand, my personal experience was presenting a serious counter argument. My daily defeat seemed to motion that “you will never stop sinning till Jesus comes, as long as you have this nature.” This experience made me clearly understand why some, whom I really regard as studious and intelligent, believe in the idea of original sin: because of the arguments that the (personal) experience seem to put forward.

The reasoning behind it is simple: If the scriptures teach one thing, but my experience is offering a compelling argument to the contrary, then one of them needs to change. And if the experience seems to remain the same after repeated efforts, then maybe one needs to revisit what I understand the scriptures to mean. This is why, I believe, one of the most frequent rebuttals for some who hold to the doctrine is always the question, “are you perfect?”

One evening, after another instance of defeat, I remember kneeling, discouraged, praying another “Lord I’m sorry, again (for the same thing).” But this time, I was worn out.  I didn’t understand how I could believe in victory over sin, and still be overcome, even by something so seemingly small. I knew that God was not too weak to help me, but such an experience was a question to His power (in me).  

With frustration and giving-up I remember praying a simple prayer: “God, if you can’t give me victory over this thing, then I might as well accept the doctrine of original sin.” It seems crazy now as I think about it, but heaven knows what I meant. It was the unarguable internal defeat, and that alone, that led to nearly accepting the theory…

The turning point to victory:

After falling asleep on my knees, I later woke with the weighty impression to visit a book I had, but never read before: How to be a Victorious Christian, by Thomas Davis (Download here). This further lead to (re)reading chapter 5 of Steps to Christ, entitled Consecration. Although I had been familiar with the truths of the gospel, God did a work of pointing me back to a few simple, but essential points:

On Consecration

The layout of the book Steps to Christ finds its climax in chapter 5. The earlier chapters speak of the steps towards conversion (i.e. God’s love, the Sinners Need, Repentance and Confession). The chapters that follow outline living the Christian life (Obedience, Prayer, Service and so forth). The point is simple: crossing the line from fallen & unconverted to being made anew in Christ comes with a complete, and trusting surrender of the life to Christ, consecration.

“The whole heart must be yielded to God, or the change can never be wrought in us by which we are to be restored to His likeness... The yielding of self, surrendering all to the will of God, requires a struggle; but the soul must submit to God before it can be renewed in holiness.”  Steps to Christ p.43.3

Making such surrender comes from a personal realization that the heart is where the real matter lies, and no outward modification will be sufficient to supply the inward lack. During this experience, I had overlooked this point, and I think it would be safe to say some still do today.

“The plan of beginning outside and trying to work inward has always failed, and always will fail. God's plan with you is to begin at the very seat of all difficulties, the heart, and then from out of the heart will issue the principles of righteousness; the reformation will be outward as well as inward.” Counsels on Diet and Foods, p.35

On resting (abiding) in Christ, not in theory.

I nearly entitled this note I Used to Believe in Victory over Sin, (but didn’t to avoid one taking that further than I intended). But in so entitling it, the point I make is the fact that the what brings us into experiencing victory is not merely in believing in its possibility or obligation. That is: that believing in [the possibility of] victory over sin is not what gives the victory; it is abiding in Christ that does.

Overlooking this point is the reason why one can believe in victory over sin, and still be overcome by meanness and unkindness, (or be defeated in another area). The theory of victory over sin is not what gives the victory; it is falling on the Rock and being broken that does. (I’m reminded here of an article by Eugene Prewitt entitled “Unvictorious believers in Victory”)

Following this experience, I then pursued a personal study on the subject of how to abide in Christ. The incident taught me what Paul means when he writes “if any man thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know.” (1 Corinthians 8:1). Even after the few earlier years of sharing and teaching the gospel, it still demanded my study. Revisiting Steps to Christ, as well as the book by Davis, I was reassured not only of the possibility of victory, but also of the how.  

Initially, studying on how to abide was a personal search, but the material grew and now makes up much of my upcoming book: Communion with Christ. The experience of how I almost accepted the doctrine of original sin became, in a way, the beginnings of an experience of (re)learning what it means to experience God’s internal working. Were it not for this, I’m not sure if the development of Communion with Christ would reach where it has.

If God wills, the book will hopefully be launching in September. More details here

To Be Continued… Part 2: More on why I shared this experience.

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[i] Dennis Priebe, Original Sin, Forgiveness, and Obedience

[ii] I use the term “Not so Biblical” purely to acknowledge that some who have accepted the doctrine of original sin have arrived at their conclusions biblically. Although a thorough examination of the scriptures would prove the conclusions of the teaching to be without solid grounds.